How to deal with new parent sleep deprivation: 10 tips to cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Newborns might be adorable, but being up all night is so not cute. Explore 10 tips for new parents dealing with sleep deprivation to get the rest they need.
The first few weeks of parenthood can be magical, but no matter how much you love your new baby, waking up every few hours to feed them or change a diaper can also make you feel like you’re losing your mind.
New parent sleep deprivation comes with the territory of having babies — and it can be all-encompassing. You can find yourself feeling physically drained and foggy all the time. Exhaustion, irritability, and feeling overwhelmed quickly follow, and soon you start to question how on earth anyone has ever done this before and if you’ll ever sleep again.
In these low moments, it’s important to remind yourself that this is a phase. You will sleep a full night again, even if it’s not realistic at this exact moment. You really will.
And in the meantime, we’ve got you. So plop into your comfiest chair, and let’s dive into how new parents can make better sleep a reality.
What is new parent sleep deprivation?
When you first meet your baby, you probably want to spend every moment just staring at them. But after a while, a nap will sound nice — and unfortunately, it might not be an option.
Sleep deprivation can be brutal and it’s one of the first challenges that most new parents face. It happens when you’re not getting enough restful, uninterrupted sleep to feel refreshed and energized.
Every day for the first few weeks, no matter what time it is, your newborn will cry for you whenever they need to be fed, soothed, or have their diaper changed. We’re talking every two to three hours (if not sooner).
The unpredictable nature of this schedule can really start to take a toll on your physical health, your mental wellbeing, and even your ability to care for your baby (and yourself).
If you think you’re experiencing sleep deprivation, here are eight common side effects to look out for:
Tiredness
Irritability
Forgetfulness
Struggle focusing
Feeling anxious or depressed
Headaches
Weakened immunity
Body aches
10 tips for new parents to get more sleep
Figuring out how to get more sleep as a new parent can sometimes feel like answering the hardest math problem you had in high school. You think, “If I could sleep for eight hours, then maybe I’d be clear-eyed enough to figure out the perfect sleep schedule solution.” But of course, those eight hours never come.
So to help take any thinking off your plate for the time being, here are 10 tips you can use to help you get a little more rest one day (and one night) at a time.
1. Sleep when the baby sleeps
When your baby sleeps, try to lie down as well. Even 20–30 minute naps can help you get through the rest of the day. We know it can feel tempting to catch up on chores or scroll through all those unanswered texts when you get a free moment, but try to prioritize your sleep — everything else can wait.
Try this: If it’s the middle of the day, try creating a mini wind-down routine before napping. Switch your phone to silent, draw the curtains, and use a white noise machine. And go easy on yourself if you don’t manage to sleep — even a little quiet rest can help to take the edge off your exhaustion.
2. Share nighttime responsibilities
In a perfect world, parenthood is a team sport. So dividing nighttime duties can be the difference between feeling sane and crying in the grocery store. (But this may still happen, even when you’re sharing responsibilities. That’s okay!)
If you have a partner, help yourself out and decide who will handle tasks during the night, like feeding, diaper changes, and soothing your baby. This will help at least one of you get a longer stretch of uninterrupted rest. And if sometimes it feels hard to communicate your needs in a relationship, here are seven tips to help you out.
Try this: If you’re breastfeeding, consider pumping milk in advance so your partner can take over a feeding session, or ask them to burp and change the baby after you’ve finished nursing so you can turn in more quickly. If you’re formula-feeding, let them handle a bottle while you rest.
3. Create a bedtime routine for yourself
We tend to think about making a bedtime routine for our baby, but then completely forget about ourselves.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to your baby. Set up a consistent and calming wind-down routine so you can signal to your body that it’s time to rest — even if it’s only for two hours.
Try this: Try dimming the lights, avoiding screens for an hour before bed, or taking a warm shower. If it’s hard for you to relax, consider doing a deep breathing exercise (here are eight we like) or listening to a soothing playlist.
💙 Listen to Chibs Okereke’s meditation Wind Down (For Sleep) to help get you more ready for bed.
4. Use tools to make nighttime care easier
When you’re tired, even reaching for something can be exhausting. Make a nighttime “baby station” with diapers, wipes, bottles, and burp cloths. And keep it near your bed, so you have to do less reaching.
Try this: If you’re constantly stubbing your toe, a nightlight with a soft glow might be a good investment that’ll make your feet happy. A white noise machine can also be a soothing noise life-saver.
5. Accept help (and ask for it)
Okay, this one’s important — let people help you! You don’t have to do it all alone. Some parents create a list of tasks or chores that can be done to help them during pregnancy so that once the baby comes any helpful visitors can just consult the list and take on the task of their choice. And if you’re too tired to even think, here are three ways you could let someone help you:
Let a family member watch the baby for an hour
Let a friend drop off dinner
Hire a postpartum doula to provide extra support
Try this: If you don’t have a support network, that’s okay. Look into local parent groups or reach out to online communities. They might be able to help share tips, or even trade babysitting favors. (If you struggle with asking for help when you need it, here are seven tips to help get you started.)
6. Adjust your expectations
Give yourself a break and let some things slide. The laundry can wait. Rewear those extra sweats — no one’s going to notice. Focus on caring for your baby and—wait for it—yourself.
If you find yourself stuck in a “expectations vs reality” trap, here are six steps to help you.
Try this: Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can with very little sleep. And also that every baby and every experience is unique. If your first baby slept great but your second doesn’t, this isn’t a reflection of you. It’s just the way it goes sometimes.
7. Consider shifts or scheduled catch-up sleep
If you and your partner or support network are barely keeping up, consider setting up a shift schedule. Here’s an example you and your partner could use:
Partner #1: Baby care from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m.
Partner #2 and/or support network: Baby care from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m.
Try this: Plan a weekend “catch-up” sleep schedule if you and your partner or support network are off work. Switch off in the mornings so that you each can get one or two precious extra hours of rest.
8. Simplify nighttime feedings
Make your life as easy as possible during this tough time. If you’re formula feeding, prepare bottles in advance so they’re ready to go. If you’re breastfeeding, set up a cozy space with everything you need, like a water bottle, snacks, and a nursing pillow.
Try this: Consider reading a book and avoiding using technology while feeding your baby so you have an easier time falling back asleep.
9. Take care of your body
Drink plenty of water, eat nutritious snacks, and try to squeeze in light movement, like stretching or walking, when you can.
Try this: Remember that during this time it’s all about what you can do comfortably and not trying to maximize your day. Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t fit movement in each day. There’s no need to waste even more of your energy by beating yourself up.
💙 To help get you in the right mindset to take care of your body, consider listening to Kate Johnson’s mediation Connecting with Loving-Kindess.
10. Trust that this phase will pass
If you’re staring up at the sky screaming, “When will this madness end?!” We feel you. It’s easy to feel like you’ll never get a single good night's sleep again, but you will. This stage will end and your baby will eventually grow into more predictable sleep patterns.
In the meantime, focus on small wins — like an extra nap, a longer stretch of sleep, or your new ability to sleep sitting up in a chair.
Try this: It’s okay to feel tired, overwhelmed, and irritable sometimes. This is normal, so feel your feelings. If you find you and your partner are short with each other, or frustrated, find some time to reconnect each day, even if it’s just a hug and an, “I love you.” It can help to remind yourselves that you’re on the same team.
New parents sleep FAQs
How do I deal with sleep deprivation with a newborn?
Not getting any sleep while also caring for a little human being is an easy recipe for getting overwhelmed, and cranky. Don’t be hard on yourself though. No one aces parenthood.
Here are ten manageable tips that can help get you through sleep deprivation:
Rest when you can. Try to nap when your baby naps, even if it’s just for 20-30 minutes.
Ask for help — lean on friends, family, or local resources.
Simplify your sleep routine, and prepare your “bedtime station” when you have more energy.
Create a calming wind-down routine to help you fall asleep quicker.
Divide nighttime responsibilities with a partner or support person.
If you’re breastfeeding, consider pumping milk so someone else can help with a feeding, or ask your partner to burp and change the baby when you’re done nursing. (If you’re formula-feeding, take turns with your partner preparing bottles and soothing the baby.)
Eat regular meals.
Get a little sunlight or fresh air each day to help ground you.
Adjust your expectations. You don’t need to accomplish everything in a day.
What are some ways to get more sleep with a newborn?
Sometimes when you have a newborn, it can feel like you’ll never sleep again. But even though a full eight hours might not be in your immediate future, there are still some ways to get more rest. Here are three pathways that could help you catch some Zs:
Nap during the day when your baby’s asleep. Leave the tasks you’ve fallen behind on for another time. Remind yourself that your rest is more important.
Create a calming bedtime routine for yourself. Dim the lights, avoid screens, and listen to calming music before lying down to help get you more ready for rest.
Set up a cozy, clutter-free baby space. Prepare soothing things like pillows and blankets and try to keep the area near your baby’s crib clean so you’re not fixating on a mess you need to clean up.
What are the long-term effects of sleep deprivation on new parents?
Most new parents feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed as they adjust to taking care of their baby. And all these feelings can increase and get worse, the more sleep deprived you become.
Sleep deprivation can take a toll on both your mental and physical health. In the short term, you tend to feel tired and irritable. But over time, chronic sleep deprivation can lead to bigger challenges including postpartum depression or anxiety, high blood pressure, a poor immune system, and trouble concentrating and making decisions.
If you’re sleep deprived, talk to your doctor. They can help you address the root causes and help you to feel like yourself again.
How will sharing a room with my newborn impact my sleep?
It might seem counterintuitive, but actually, room-sharing can help you respond to your baby’s needs quicker, which might help everyone get back to sleep sooner.
Still, it’s important to follow safe sleep guidelines though if you do room-share. Placing the crib close to your bed, and make sure that the baby’s sleep surface is firm, flat, and free of pillows, blankets, or stuffed animals. Also try to keep the room at a comfortable temperature.
Co-sleeping (sharing the same bed with your baby), is not recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other safety organizations due to increased risks.
What are some signs that I should seek professional help for sleep issues?
If you’re feeling completely overwhelmed, constantly exhausted, or at your limit, there’s no shame in reaching out for help. Your doctor, a therapist, or a support group for new parents can really help to make it a bit easier to care for yourself and your baby while experiencing sleep deprivation.
You also might be experiencing some signs of postpartum depression or anxiety, including persistent mood swings, feelings of sadness or hopelessness, and trouble bonding with your baby. Remember that this is common and treatable, and ask your doctor or a mental health professional for additional support. You might also consider seeking professional help if you’re experiencing extreme forgetfulness, a complete lack of focus, and headaches or body aches that don’t go away.
New parenthood is a wonderful time, but it can be overwhelming too. Asking for help is a sign of strength.
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